It’s no secret that the gym is a testosterone and estrogen laden environment what with all the grunting, sweating, and tight clothes. Note from editor: If you’re a dude and still wearing tight gym clothes, check the calendar. It’s 2009. Back to the gym. A small percentage of people are there to actually get a serious workout, probably about 7%. Another 7%, on the opposite side of the spectrum, are just stumbling around clueless and they’re probably going to leave with a serious injury.

The other 86% of us, we say we’re there for a workout but don’t mind mixing a little pleasure with our business and we’re not above being hyper-aware of exactly how much we’re impressing the guy or gal pumping away next to us.

Here’s a list of 10 things that could happen to you in the midst of your workout that you will never, ever live down. Commit one of these and you might as well change your name and move to another country.

*Shrieking for help with a stainless steel bar across your neck, fingers pinned beneath, because you tried to bench 300 lbs without a spotter. Idiot!

*Passing out in the sauna because you ignored your heart condition and had to be revived by an EMT and taken away on a stretcher. Cretin!

*Cutting a loud fart on the 5th rep of a 10 rep set. Moron!

*Actually soiling yourself on the 6th rep and crab-walking to the bathroom with a stain on your rear. Mental defective!

*Getting caught checking yourself out in the mirror. Imbecile!

*Thinking the swimming pool welcomed European-style nudity when it didn’t. Dullard!

*Getting lost while you’re crab-walking around in your crap drawers and following an androgynous person into the wrong bathroom. Jackass!

*Grunting really loud on the final rep and splitting your pants all the way through to your Tweety Birds.
*Leaving yucky sweat on the bench right before the opposite sex hottie you’ve been eyeing for months uses it. Jerk!

*Using a machine for six months the same way, then having the previously mentioned hottie point out you’re doing it all wrong and it targets an entirely different muscle group. Ninny!

Here’s to hoping you didn’t spot yourself up there.

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